He helped me with my studies, helped me cope with the stress and pressur

Hi guys, it's me again, ML. Sorry for not informing right away that my prev confession was m2m. Initially ayoko ilagay yung part about the sheets para mas parang straight sex. Pero i felt like i wa lying if i didn't put it. Gusto ko lang naman kasi ishare how my being superficial hurt me and that maybe some of you might learn from my mistake regardless of orientation. What I'm about to share now is another m2m. So proceed with caution.

After a series of failed MUs and sex with my crushes which didn't end up quite as i wanted it to end, I quitted dating. My heart started to grow numb wirh each successive failed dates until such a time

where I felt I was destined to be alone. I succumbed to using social media with an alter ego account. It was fun. Communicating with people without compromising your privacy. Cutting people off when you feel they're not your cup of tea. Until one time, i saw a username that looked familiar. It was related to my college so i decided to chat him up. He denied it initially, but later admitted he was a graduate from the same college. We ended up talking, i sensed he was smart, and more than just the casual talk. But we moved to the topic of sex. Because i dont wanna date, we agreed to have sex when we meet. I must admit, when i saw him, i did not find him attractive at all. He was not my type. My usual is a fair skinned, slim guy with a nice face, sharp nose and nice set of teeth. He didn't quite pass my requirements but i wanted sex, and he was there so i went for it. It was good. We only did oral, which i prefer and i enjoyed it. We talked after to consume the time in the motel and we exchanged our real names. I gave him mine because i felt like he could be a nice friend. A fubu even. So we bid our goodbyes but we told each other we'd keep in touch.

So we texted every day. He helped me with my studies, helped me cope with the stress and pressure. Occasionally we'd have sex. This ran on for months. Until he asked if he can court me, officially. I got scared. Because he wasn't my type and because I'm tired of failed dates. I told him both my reasons and said it's his choice if he wants to continue with his plan. And he said yes.
So on and on we dated. Texted. Had sex. Like we were a couple but without commitment. I enjoyed it. I got what i wanted minus the commitment i hated. But one day he asked me again, and i told him i still wasn't ready. I think it hurt him. He felt used. I told him im trying. He said he'd be leaving already because he feels he deserved better.

The unexpected happened. I cried. I cried because I don't think i would want him gone from my life. I couldn't imagine not having him by my side when i had problems, when i am happy... So i told him to not leave and that to give me more time. That I'm almost there.

He stayed. To my heart's delight he did. We spent more months before i started saying i love you to him. I knew i made him happy with that.

A year has passed since we first chatted. I was waiting for him to crack the question. He got scared. I was a bit disappointed because I knew I was ready now, and I was scared that maybe now he's the one who's backing out.
But i waited. I waited until he had the guts to tell me. Until one day, at the first motel we met, while lying in bed, he asked me: will you be my boyfriend? With a huge smile, i said yes. And kissed him on the lips.

It was the most fantastic feeling I've ever had. Loving someone who I know loves me was the most rewarding thing in my life. And it didn't involve my very superficial requirements.

We're 1 year and almost 6 months together now, not incuding the months before he popped the question, and it was the best 1 year and 6 months of my life. If there's one thing I've learned from all the failed dates and my current lovelife, it's that it's not the gift with a fancy wrapper that gets you happy. It may get you giddy and excited to unwrap the gift, but learning that the gift was empty and the wrapper just a fancy shell would hurt twice as much as it got you excited. Love is a gift and it does not need to be in a fancy wrapper. So once you receive one, regardless of the wrapper, open it. You'll never know when the one inside is the gift that you've been wishing for all your life.

Thank you for reading. smile emoticon I wish you would all find someone who could make you as happy as I am right now as well.

- ML